Backyard Pole – Summer 2015

IMG_8181My husband was doing renovations in the backyard and I requested a pole outside. He went to a shop that specializes in metal, and he bought a metal pipe with the top end capped. He dug a big hole, put the pole in and put in expansion foam and topped it with concrete.

It’s taller than my pole in my house so I can climb higher. We painted it so the grip is different, it’s great for tricks but it’s harder to do spins on it. It even lights up at night!

Joining SASS – Spring/Summer 2015

image1.JPGAs soon as I could, I got back on the pole. We got the ceiling reinforced for the pole so it wouldn’t fall again but I was still nervous at first. I had to face my fear of falling and gain my confidence back.

I returned to my weekly pole class for a month but decided I needed to train more. That’s when I decided to switch to SASS in Stoney Creek and bought a membership. I was intimated at first because the girls were so much stronger than me but I quickly felt part of the studio. All the girls are so friendly and helpful and it was easy to make friends since we had a common interest. I began taking a boot camp class and more open training classes. Just in a few months I was starting to see improvements.

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The Injury – Winter 2015

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I made several pole goals in my 2015 New Year’s resolutions. But then 1 week later, all of that changed when I had some friends over and I showed them my new pole room. I did a spin and the pole fell out of the ceiling. The pole almost hit my husband in the head and I was on the floor. I thought my leg really hurt and then I look down at my knee and my knee cap was completely dislocated. I started screaming in shock. Thoughts of how I will never be able to pole again went running through my mind.

The paramedics came and drugged me up to put my knee cap back in place and took me to the hospital. This was my first ever ride in an ambulance. I got X-rays and then a leg brace put on.

After I could take the leg brace off, I had to do physio for 4 months.  While I was recovering, I decided it was a good time to get breast implants.  It was a scary decision, but I am so happy that I did it.

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My First Year of Pole – 2014

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I went to a beginners class once a week that was 1 hour for the first year. I remember how challenging it was just to learn how to climb the pole and invert.

After 6 months of doing pole, I did little photo shoot posing on my pole. I posted a few pictures on Facebook and used one as my profile picture. That was the moment that I publicly came “out” as a pole dancer and it was scary as I wasn’t sure what people would think. There is still a lot of stigma around pole so it is a difficult conversation to have sometimes as to what I do for a hobby and fitness.

By the end of the year I could climb, invert, do gemini and scorpio, superman and was working on cupid. I was doing preps for shoulder mounts but it felt like I was never going to be able to do it.

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We moved into a new house at the end of the year and turned one of the bedrooms into my own dance studio. I finally had a large room that I could practice in with enough space around the pole and large mirrors on the closet doors. My husband bought me a professional Platinum Stages brass pole for Christmas. I was all set to do some serious training.

First Pole Class, Where it All Started – January 2014

Once I got my pole it took me over 8 months before I signed up for a class. Classes were not running during the summer and then my schedule just never worked to be able to go. I think my husband was starting to think that the pole was going to be another abandoned idea like the gym memberships and home equipment were.

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January 2014 I made a New Year’s resolution to put a serious effort into pole, and the next week I had my first class. I went out and bought mid-length pair of work out shorts and a tank top. Very modest as I wasn’t confident about my body or really knew what the appropriate clothes for pole was.

I was so nervous going into my first class. I stereotyped like most people do and thought it was going to be a bunch of busty blonde strippers in the class. Although, I was pleasantly surprised to see that most of the girls were moms like me trying something new for fitness.

In the class, I started learning how to move around the pole and how to do basic spins. After the first class, my body hurt and I had bruises but my addiction to pole had begun.

My First Pole – Spring 2013

image3Before I had kids, a girlfriend and I talked about taking some sort of dance class. I had seen some pole videos online and thought it looked amazingly beautiful. My friend suggested belly dancing but that it didn’t appeal to me much. I found a pole studio within the area with drop in classes but we never ended up going.

After I had kids, I decided I needed to do something active in order to feel good about myself again. I also needed to find myself, as a woman, rather than mother. So I took a giant leap and bought a pole.

My first pole was from Spencer’s and not expensive one as I was unsure whether it was something I would like and stick to. My husband set it up in our bedroom and I was so excited. However, reality quickly sank in that I had no idea what I was doing. I tried to watch videos online but I felt silly trying it myself.

I was at a firefighter charity event with some friends and the girls from the studio I found years ago were doing pole demonstrations. I was in complete awe of what the girls could do and it made me determined to try. I was inspired and wanted to be strong and confident like them.

I found it interesting how my friends reacted that evening when I told them I bought a pole. I was asked if it was because my husband wanted me to do it. I explained it was something I have been interested in doing for a long time, for myself, and he is just being supportive. That was my first of many judgements I have gotten throughout my pole journey.

The Beginning of My Journey

image1Like most woman, I have always struggled with my self esteem. I have always been naturally thin so most people are surprised when I tell them how much I wrestle with my self image.The problem is being super skinny is the only way I identified myself and took pride in that. When I would gain even 5 pounds, I would see my myself as fat and sink into a depression. I would feel like I lost control over myself. I am my own worst critic and mentally beat myself up.

When I was a teenager and having a difficult time, I used food to regain control in my life. I did everything from starving myself, using laxatives and purging. Luckily, I managed to get out of the toxic relationship I had with food before I caused myself harm.

I was never athletic even as a kid. Never played sports, hated gym class, and never worked out. I always had an interest in dance but my mom could not afford to put me in classes. My dream as a little girl was to be a ballerina and I was envious of girls that got to take classes.

When I got into my 20’s I decided I wanted to try to get toned. I joined a few gyms but they really weren’t my thing. I went because I paid for it but I couldn’t get really into it. Because my effort was minimal, so was my results. Once my memberships expired, I had no desire to renew them as I was still skinny without having to go to the gym. Likewise, I bought home gym equipment and abandoned it quite quickly.

Then my world of being skinny changed after I had 2 kids in 2.5 years. My body went through so many changes within a short period of time. I managed to loose the baby weight quickly but my body just wasn’t the same anymore. I struggled with new birth control and my weight as well as my emotions went up and down. There was a point where my clothes were falling off of me and then I would gain some weight and people asked me if I was pregnant again. I hated my body more than ever and knew I had to make a change.