Tag Archives: Body Shamed

Great White North Pole Competition – August 2017

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I did it! I competed! I competed in Verticlove’s Great White North Pole Competition. It was my first competition so I entered the amateur division. The song I choose was the acoustic version of TLC’s “Unpretty.” My costume was white lace top and bottoms with a sheer robe and 8 inch Pleaser heels. I wrote body shaming words on my body which was shown when I opened my robe at the beginning of the song. As the song goes on, I find my confidence through pole dancing and shed the robe at the end showing the words Beautiful and Strong on my biceps.

I loved my concept for the performance and kept my choreography to tricks I knew really well. Where it went wrong was not practicing it enough to really make it flow, clean up my inverts and lines in poses. I also didn’t practice writing the words on my body. I accidentally ended up buying permanent paint to write the words. My concept was to smear the body shaming words as I dance so show that I’m wiping the negativity away. But since the paint was permanent, it did not wipe off, and it was not dark enough for the audience to see it clearly.

After I performed, I was too nervous to watch the other competitors. I walked around the Hamilton harbour during a thunderstorm and reflected on my performance.

I didn’t end up placing but I felt a winner just getting up on stage to compete. It was an amazing experience and learnt a lot for future performances.  It was good to get the first one under my belt as now I have a better understanding of what the judges are looking for.

Being Body Shamed 

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When I got home from my performance, I was on a high. I posted a few pictures on my facebook and was getting a lot of compliments. I received a message from a friend from grade school and when I first opened it I thought it was going to be positive. But then as I read it my heart sank and was left speechless.


I have privately shared the message with a few close friends. Everyone who read it was furious, told me it’s not true and gave me a lot of compliments. It made me momentarily feel better. But as the days went on, it was stuck in my head and was eating away at me.

I had been eating very healthy before the performance, but a after that I started binging for comfort. My mood had been all over the place and been having difficulty looking myself in the mirror. After 2 weeks, I am a mess. I gained 6 pounds, my confidence shattered and been upset that everything I worked so hard for is slipping away.

I finally pulled myself out of depression and decided I was going to use this experience in a positive way. I also created a freestyle video as a release for myself and posted it with the message.

I was very grateful for all the wonderful comments I received. Although I posted not to get validation but more so talk about body shaming. It’s not ok to do to anyone! I felt like I could use my experience to highlight how devastating it is to someone. The media has created an unrealistic image of what women are supposed to look like, which is stressful enough. Add bullying from your peers and it’s enough to create serious mental health problems. Be encouraging of others. Support them when they are doing something to better themselves. If you are jealous, maybe examine yourself before taking it out on someone who is doing well. And if you don’t like what someone posts, simply unfriend.