Pole Journey of a Student

I asked a student of mine that I’ve been teaching for a few years to write about her own pole journey for my blog. When she read it to me, I was touched how I have been able to help and inspire her to become strong and confident. I’m so proud of all her hard work and look forward to continue to help her achieve her goals. Here is her pole journey in her own words.

My pole dancing journey….

Let me start by saying I have always loved to dance but I am a klutz. I tend to feel very awkward when I dance but something about the movement and the music’s fluidity have always called to my soul. My very first class was a tough day for me. Being a bigger girl at 5’ 10” and over 240lbs, I was excited and terrified. I hated my body and was instructed to wear a pair of short shorts and a tank, there are lots of mirrors in the pole room. In case no one has told you, there is a reason why pole dancers wear such tiny outfits, skin contact!

I specifically remember telling Crystal at one point while she was spotting me, that there was “no way this will work. I’m big and [she’s] tiny”. I was worried that if she tried to catch me, I would hurt her or accidentally kick her in the head and then there goes all my chances at learning. Crystal was so very patient with me and explained that she is stronger than she looks. After that first class, I was hooked. Super sore, full of “pole kisses” and realizing how very out of shape I was. I knew that most pole dancers have to have muscle but at no point did I even come close to understanding how much is truly involved. You are supporting your entire weight.

Fast forward almost a year and I was transitioning out of basic spins and was moving up into inverts. This was so exciting for me I had felt frustrated that I was stuck and wanted to try the “fun” tricks like my mentor and all the other beautiful flying goddesses that you see in any pole dance video. This was finally my chance! Or was it… It took me many months to invert and then there was the whole ordeal of being upside down clinging to the pole like a spider monkey eyes closed and holding on for dear life…. And completely forgetting how to get down! Cue the sweaty hands and now slow slide down the pole face first. Crystal talked me through the whole process and with so much positivity and encouragement she convinced me to keep trying. She reminded me that everyone learns at different speeds and that I should be proud of all the muscle I have gained from that very first class when my body was shaking leaf just trying to do a pole sit. But now I was able to pull myself off the ground, flip upside down and lower myself back down.

Through Covid I have continued my classes off and on. My first class back after a long break, I was getting in my head about my weight and my lack of motivation to work out that I was honestly dreading my first class back, but I was dead wrong, my class was amazing and I actually surprised my self with all the things I could still complete even with all that time off. Spins, climbs and even an invert! Since being back I have learned many new tricks and keep pushing myself not to forget anything I have learned. Sometimes I think I drive Crystal crazy by asking so many questions (which muscles, what’s touching, where do I put…, OMG how?) and getting her do demonstrate particular moves sometimes three or more times. But she never gets upset or loses her patience, just keeps explaining and encouraging.

Recently, I was lucky enough to be asked by my amazing mentor to join in with another studio to present for the Christmas showcase. OMG that was the most fun I have had; scary and nerve wracking for sure but still just amazing to be part of! Everyone was so supportive and I was excited to see what the others would bring to the show. They Blew my mind! And when it was my turn every single one of the other 10 girls was cheering and whispering words of encouragement. Most importantly so was Crystal, she was right there cheering the loudest and watching like the proud pole mama she is! BTW the showcase was phenomenal, I worried for nothing. I held my tricks and made my movements flow beautifully. After was this rush of accomplishment and euphoria that I had never felt before. I felt beautiful, confident, and coordinated (lol). A huge change from that shy, clutz that first started.

Semi Lockdown/Winter Blues – Start of 2022

Gyms and restaurants were shut down until the end of January. Just when I was getting back into the groove of things again, another shutdown. I suffer from seasonal depression so the combination of cold, snow and lockdown, this year has started off rough.

On my days off, just getting up and showered has been win. My motivation for training has been lost. Being at the studios and training is my happy place so when they are closed, I really feel a void physically and mentally.

I had to take a break from social media because of all the negativity and political divide. I had some negative comments made on my pole videos, I don’t understand why people want to bring others down. If you don’t like or agree with something, just simply move on. Don’t people realize how the comments they make impacts the mental health of a person?

I know this will pass. The lockdown will end and in a few months the weather will be better. I am so mentally drained from Covid, these last 2 years have been hard as fuck. I hope we are at the end of this and soon life can return to normal.