My First Recital, The Highs and Lows – June 2016

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I spent several months working on choreographing my own routine for the first time. It was supposed to be for a spring showcase at SASS, which the date was pushed back several times. Then it was cancelled and postponed until the fall due to a lack of performers ready with a routine. When my silks instructor heard it was cancelled, she invited me to perform my routine at our silks recital.

I altered my costume a bit as the show was for all ages. I had to change my song to a Beatles song as that was the theme. I picked Free As A Bird and it fit my routine well. I spent hours preparing for the show.

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On rehearsal day, I set up the 2 stage poles to practice. The show was in a gym and it was very hot. I was very worried that I would be too sweaty to execute my shoulder mount in the routine.

The day of the show, I was beyond nervous. When I got out there, I concentrated on my music and my movements and didn’t look at the audience. I did bail on my shoulder mount as I was just too slippery. Overall, I was happy how it went but was going to take the shoulder mount out of the second show

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The silks group routine I wasn’t nearly as nervous for as I wasn’t out there alone. It went well. My husband and kids came to support me and my husband recorded my performances.

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Between the first and second show, I was told that there was some negative comments about my pole routine posted on the events Facebook page. I was asked to tone down the routine or perhaps take it out of the second show. I thought about it for a bit and decided that I did not want to change my art because of a bully, so I didn’t perform. I went home for a bit to clear my head, and went back just to perform the group silks routine at the end of the show.

After the show, I bought a big bottle of wine, relaxed in my hot tub and vented to some pole friends. I took solace in hearing other friends stories of facing negative comments through their pole career. The stigma around pole is sometimes difficult for a dancer to deal with. But it’s our passion and art and we are tough girls that will face the negativity head on and will not let it defeat us.

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Social Media – Fall 2015

After gaining confidence in my appearance, I decided not to be so afraid to post pictures online. When I practiced, I took pictures and videos to document my progress.

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In the fall, I took a sexy flow class to learn the sexier side of pole. I loved the class and finally got to use my first pair of Pleaser heels.  That class made me feel so sexy and confident and I discovered that was the type of routines I really liked. I had a lot of anxiety about posting the routine on Facebook because of what people would think.

A few of my profile pictures was reported to Facebook as containing nudity. I posted this on my page: To the person that keeps reporting my pole profile pictures as containing nudity, you really are not accomplishing anything but making me want to work harder and post more pictures. So thank you for your motivation.

I got so many positive comments on that post. I was told that my commitment inspired other people, which brought me to tears. This gave me the encouragement to push harder and further.