Dear Motivation,
Where are you? Why are you hiding? My energy levels and drive have been low. I try to eat better but then slip backwards into old habits. My progress in aerial has been slower. I’m at a plateau.
I see other people grow above me. I get frustrated at how my lack of advancement.
Why can I not handspring yet? Am I just not strong enough? I am doubting my abilities. The other things in my life have taken over. My dreams seem like they are no longer obtainable.
I wasn’t sure how to proceed from here. So I thought looking back may help. I recently reread this blog. It reminded me where I started from and how far I’ve come. Just within the last year, I created this blog, a brand for myself and started performing. Later this year, I will be competing and getting my instructor certification.
I also looked but at my pole board on Pinterest. I used to spend hours looking through pole pictures and videos for inspiration and motivation. I took some time revisiting my pins, which reminded me how I fell I love with pole. And how obsessed I was with it. Whenever I listened to music, I thought of poling. Whenever I shopped for clothes, I looked for new pole clothes. Whenever I was out anywhere, I looked for a pole to play on.
My handspring will come. It took me a year and a half to do a shoulder mount. More than half my battle is mental. I need to keep believing in myself. I need to stop looking at others with envy, instead let them inspire and teach me. I too can do it. No more excuses. I had so many goals at the beginning of the year. I know once I start training regularly again my passion will return.
