Finally Progress – Killing It In 2019

I am achieving the goals I set for myself at the beginning of  year. It seems changing my diet has also contributed to building muscle and strength.  I can check off titanic, aerial shoulder mount and ayesha! Those are 3 big ones that I’m so proud of.  And I got my nemesis…handspring!  After 3 years of frustration and thinking that it will never happen, it finally did happen.  I did exactly what I planned, I left handspring for a bit, got some other tricks, and then returned to handspring with renewed determination. The first time I did a successful handspring at SASS, all the girls cheered, as they know how hard I’ve been working on it.  It felt so good.  In silks, my aerial inverts are getting much stronger.

All the hard work is finally paying off.  I have finally got past the fear of trying new pole tricks and have had fun learning new things again.  I now can do headstands and getting close to handstands.  My love for pole has returned.  I’m spending 10-15 hours a week training between pole, silks and other workouts.

Last on my list is brass monkey! I will conquer.

Where Oh Where Can My Motivation Be? 

Dear Motivation,

Where are you? Why are you hiding? My energy levels and drive have been low.  I try to eat better but then slip backwards into old habits.  My progress in aerial has been slower. I’m at a plateau.

I see other people grow above me. I get frustrated at how my lack of advancement.

Why can I not handspring yet? Am I just not strong enough? I am doubting my abilities.  The other things in my life have taken over. My dreams seem like they are no longer obtainable.

I wasn’t sure how to proceed from here. So I thought looking back may help. I recently reread this blog.  It reminded me where I started from and how far I’ve come. Just within the last year, I created this blog, a brand for myself and started performing. Later this year, I will be competing and getting my instructor certification.

I also looked but at my pole board on Pinterest. I used to spend hours looking through pole pictures and videos for inspiration and motivation.  I took some time revisiting my pins, which reminded me how I fell I love with pole. And how obsessed I was with it.  Whenever I listened to music, I thought of poling. Whenever I shopped for clothes, I looked for new pole clothes. Whenever I was out anywhere, I looked for a pole to play on.

My handspring will come. It took me a year and a half to do a shoulder mount.   More than half my battle is mental. I need to keep believing in myself. I need to stop looking at others with envy, instead let them inspire and teach me. I too can do it.  No more excuses. I had so many goals at the beginning of the year.  I know once I start training regularly again my passion will return.

New Year, New Challenges

I ended 2016 with posting a recent picture of me and my body stats: 

December 31, 2016

Weight: 122

Body Fat: 23%

Waist: 27 inches

I posted it to hold myself accountable towards my goals and to keep pushing.

I started stretching as I really want to gain flexibility. I have been using the techniques I learned in the flexibility workshop last October.

 

My goal is to train 5 days a week:

1. Silks (class)

2. Stretching (at home)

3. Pole (classes)

4. Hoop (at home)

5. Pole (at home)

I don’t have set days for the training at home, as it will vary with my schedule. The first step was setting goals, the next step is to commit to them!!

 

 

 

I received my Christmas gift from my husband, which an lyra hoop from Juggle Gear.  The day I received it, I couldn’t wait to get it up and rigged. I was afraid I wouldn’t remember the tricks I learned from the workshop I did last August. It didn’t take long to get it all back though!

Silks at Paradisaea Aerial Dance – Winter 2016

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At the end of January, I seen an ad for adult silks classes at Paradisaea. I have seen the singer Pink perform on silks and a few girls using silks at SASS and it looks so pretty. I thought that would be my next step and compliment my pole training well. I signed up for a one hour class per week to try it out.

When I entered my first class, I thought because I do pole, silks would be easy. However, I was very mistaken. It takes incredible amount of strength to pull yourself up on moving pieces of fabric. My arms felt like rubber after one hour but I loved it.

 

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As I went each week, I was stronger than the week before. I was seeing the difference in pole too. A few months into silks and I could finally shoulder mount! I always started stretching more and got my splits which helped get a flatter jade split. I not only was getting stronger and more flexible, but more confident too.

 

Successes of 2015

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I ended 2015 with accomplishing a few goals I had set at the beginning of the year. I finally got cupid and was getting close to shoulder mounting. I learned how to do the extended butterfly pretty quickly. I started working on ballerina and jade.  Ballerina killed my ribcage for quite a while.  My splits for jade needed a lot of work.

 

 

 

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I started working on doing more complex combo’s like the one in this picture from class. In order to come up with routines, I need to work on transitions between tricks to make it flow.

I had my first performance at an open house for SASS. It was for a small number of people but it was a
n opportunity to perform the routine I learned from the sexy flow class. A girl that attended loved my performance and it got her to sign up for the sexy flow class. It was amazing that I had inspired someone like that.image4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social Media – Fall 2015

After gaining confidence in my appearance, I decided not to be so afraid to post pictures online. When I practiced, I took pictures and videos to document my progress.

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In the fall, I took a sexy flow class to learn the sexier side of pole. I loved the class and finally got to use my first pair of Pleaser heels.  That class made me feel so sexy and confident and I discovered that was the type of routines I really liked. I had a lot of anxiety about posting the routine on Facebook because of what people would think.

A few of my profile pictures was reported to Facebook as containing nudity. I posted this on my page: To the person that keeps reporting my pole profile pictures as containing nudity, you really are not accomplishing anything but making me want to work harder and post more pictures. So thank you for your motivation.

I got so many positive comments on that post. I was told that my commitment inspired other people, which brought me to tears. This gave me the encouragement to push harder and further. 

Joining SASS – Spring/Summer 2015

image1.JPGAs soon as I could, I got back on the pole. We got the ceiling reinforced for the pole so it wouldn’t fall again but I was still nervous at first. I had to face my fear of falling and gain my confidence back.

I returned to my weekly pole class for a month but decided I needed to train more. That’s when I decided to switch to SASS in Stoney Creek and bought a membership. I was intimated at first because the girls were so much stronger than me but I quickly felt part of the studio. All the girls are so friendly and helpful and it was easy to make friends since we had a common interest. I began taking a boot camp class and more open training classes. Just in a few months I was starting to see improvements.

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First Pole Class, Where it All Started – January 2014

Once I got my pole it took me over 8 months before I signed up for a class. Classes were not running during the summer and then my schedule just never worked to be able to go. I think my husband was starting to think that the pole was going to be another abandoned idea like the gym memberships and home equipment were.

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January 2014 I made a New Year’s resolution to put a serious effort into pole, and the next week I had my first class. I went out and bought mid-length pair of work out shorts and a tank top. Very modest as I wasn’t confident about my body or really knew what the appropriate clothes for pole was.

I was so nervous going into my first class. I stereotyped like most people do and thought it was going to be a bunch of busty blonde strippers in the class. Although, I was pleasantly surprised to see that most of the girls were moms like me trying something new for fitness.

In the class, I started learning how to move around the pole and how to do basic spins. After the first class, my body hurt and I had bruises but my addiction to pole had begun.

My First Pole – Spring 2013

image3Before I had kids, a girlfriend and I talked about taking some sort of dance class. I had seen some pole videos online and thought it looked amazingly beautiful. My friend suggested belly dancing but that it didn’t appeal to me much. I found a pole studio within the area with drop in classes but we never ended up going.

After I had kids, I decided I needed to do something active in order to feel good about myself again. I also needed to find myself, as a woman, rather than mother. So I took a giant leap and bought a pole.

My first pole was from Spencer’s and not expensive one as I was unsure whether it was something I would like and stick to. My husband set it up in our bedroom and I was so excited. However, reality quickly sank in that I had no idea what I was doing. I tried to watch videos online but I felt silly trying it myself.

I was at a firefighter charity event with some friends and the girls from the studio I found years ago were doing pole demonstrations. I was in complete awe of what the girls could do and it made me determined to try. I was inspired and wanted to be strong and confident like them.

I found it interesting how my friends reacted that evening when I told them I bought a pole. I was asked if it was because my husband wanted me to do it. I explained it was something I have been interested in doing for a long time, for myself, and he is just being supportive. That was my first of many judgements I have gotten throughout my pole journey.

The Beginning of My Journey

image1Like most woman, I have always struggled with my self esteem. I have always been naturally thin so most people are surprised when I tell them how much I wrestle with my self image.The problem is being super skinny is the only way I identified myself and took pride in that. When I would gain even 5 pounds, I would see my myself as fat and sink into a depression. I would feel like I lost control over myself. I am my own worst critic and mentally beat myself up.

When I was a teenager and having a difficult time, I used food to regain control in my life. I did everything from starving myself, using laxatives and purging. Luckily, I managed to get out of the toxic relationship I had with food before I caused myself harm.

I was never athletic even as a kid. Never played sports, hated gym class, and never worked out. I always had an interest in dance but my mom could not afford to put me in classes. My dream as a little girl was to be a ballerina and I was envious of girls that got to take classes.

When I got into my 20’s I decided I wanted to try to get toned. I joined a few gyms but they really weren’t my thing. I went because I paid for it but I couldn’t get really into it. Because my effort was minimal, so was my results. Once my memberships expired, I had no desire to renew them as I was still skinny without having to go to the gym. Likewise, I bought home gym equipment and abandoned it quite quickly.

Then my world of being skinny changed after I had 2 kids in 2.5 years. My body went through so many changes within a short period of time. I managed to loose the baby weight quickly but my body just wasn’t the same anymore. I struggled with new birth control and my weight as well as my emotions went up and down. There was a point where my clothes were falling off of me and then I would gain some weight and people asked me if I was pregnant again. I hated my body more than ever and knew I had to make a change.